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Dear Son, I am writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenty-five miles of home, so we packed up and moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so that they won't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in and pulled the chain. I have not seen them since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time, four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send it in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home. They said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral, up she comes. About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 people under him. He cuts grass at the cemetery. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out, he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't the tailgate down. Your Uncle John fell in the Whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off so he drowned. We cremated him. He burned for three days. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. Write more often. Love, Mom P.S I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already closed.  I saw this video and it made me laugh, not to mention gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Taking the Plunge"! So I thought I would share it with you and maybe it will make you smile too! 
Have you ever wondered....
Why do we press harder on a remote when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Whose idea it was to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Why it is that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? These are my favorite(probably because I have done them so often!!) Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down , pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? I hope, like me, you are smiling because you have done a few of these yourself!! |
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January 2026
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