Adorned book review
Goodwill and local thrift stores are my go-to place for books. I am the person who will scan every shelf in hopes of finding another paper treasure so imagine my delight when I discovered the book “Adorned” by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. I have enjoyed books by Nancy before and always learn something from her so I quickly scooped up this hardback edition (another bonus) and left, after paying for it of course. Though it would be a couple of years before I actually read it, my limited schedule can make it hard to read. This was a book I really needed and walked away feeling refreshed in my soul and challenged in my walk with the Lord. I wanted to highlight five sections that were such a help to me and caused me to change some things in my life. The value of older women Sadly, we live in a society that tends to downplay the value and wisdom of older women. The younger generation feels that they have all the answers or if they don’t they can quickly find it on Google. Senior citizens are tossed to the side as just a group of old-fashioned folks who don’t understand young people. Part of the problem lies in a breakdown in communication and relationships with the fault lying on both sides which is something Nancy brought out. Just because a younger person may not talk to you doesn’t mean you can’t start a conversation with them and vice versa. Both sides ought to be cultivating relationships with each other to bridge the age gap. I can attest to the value of older friends since they make up a good portion of my acquaintances. As an only child, I was often surrounded by older people and their influence impacted me in so many ways. I would listen as they shared stories of their past which often was lined with a lesson of faith as well as warnings of things I should avoid. I cherish the older women in my life who have graciously invested in me and helped me become the woman I am today. Can I challenge younger girls to seek out the older women and build relationships with them, maybe take them out for coffee. Can I extend the same challenge to older women as well? The younger generation needs you more than you know. Don’t give up on that modeling career Speaking of older and younger, I loved how Nancy used a fashion show to illustrate the beauty of aging. Consider what a fashion show is, a group of young girls walking up and down a runway modeling the latest outfit. They are lined on both sides by women eagerly looking at them wishing they could have the same gown. While a modeling career is usually for the young, in the Chrisitan realm it is just the opposite. The modeling runway is lined with young girls looking to the mature women to see what it means to live by faith, to have a meek and quiet spirit, or to love their husband and children. The older we become the more of an example our life should be to those who are coming behind and this is not limited to senior citizens. The young college student has elementary girls looking at her and the young moms have teens watching her. This should cause us to stop and think about the lessons we teach. What does our life show as we make our way up and down the invisible runway of life? Our choices matter not just because they affect us but they can influence someone else. I pray we are models of God’s love, mercy, kindness, goodness, and so much more so when others look at us they will see just how amazing it is to be called a child of the Most High God. Grow up and step up I chuckled as Nancy shared the story of Joy Brown, a woman in her seventies that had spent a great deal of her life as a diligent student of God’s Word. When asked if she was making disciples, she felt that she wasn’t ready, but ready or not her pastor told her that she would be leading a Bible study for teenage girls. While it was a little nerve wracking, Joy soon looked forward to these meetings as prepared notes were exchanged for real life questions answered from her seventy years of living and studying the Word of God. She would continue to lead these groups into her nineties and her ladies were affectionately known as “Brownies”. This story is absolutely heartwarming and inspiring but as Nancy said, “it shouldn’t be all that unusual.” We all have something to teach as each season in our life can be used for God’s glory just as Joy shared her weaknesses, failures, and wins to encourage and instruct the girls in her group. We are to be good students of the Word, diligent in our studies but if it is only for our benefit we have missed the point. Our life was meant to be spent on others, to share what God has taught us in life with those He brings onto our path. May we be ready and willing to be a Joy Brown. You don’t say These next two were the most eye opening and convicting to me yet oh so necessary. It is common knowledge that when women gather excess words fly though men can do their fair share of this too. While we may feel slightly offended, it is true but Nancy took this a step further and emphasized slander. I believe we don’t think much about how our words can be slanderous or how dangerous they can be but this chapter made sure to clear up any doubt. Often when men had a problem with another man they confronted them even leading to a physical argument (which is not right either) but women fight with their words. When someone offends us we “share” it with a friend sometimes under the disguise of a “prayer request” or asking for “advice” on how to handle it. Now there is nothing wrong with sharing but it should be done with discretion and limited details. Yet how many times do we unload unnecessarily and to too many people? The word “false accusers” found in Titus 2:3 comes from the Greek word “diabolos” which is where we get the word “diabolical”. That ought to make us sit up and take notice. I was very convicted after this chapter and don’t want to be a woman whose words are diabolical when speaking about someone else and this requires me to become a “Sophron” woman. A Sophron state of mind This was my favorite and most challenging chapter in the Adorned book. Self-control is not a popular word in our culture. We enjoy the all-you-can-eat buffet or the endless refills but self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and one that permeates every area of our life. I love what Nancy said, “Self-control is both a lifetime need and a lifetime pursuit.” meaning that it is an essential part of our life and we will be always working to exhibit it. This is where she introduced the term “Sophron” which comes from two Greek words and when put together mean, “saved mind” or “sound mind”. Nany put it this way: “A Sophron lifestyle begins with a sophron state of mind, a way of thinking that affects everything about the way we live. A sensible, sound, self-controlled mindset will result in sensible, sound, self-controlled behavior.” In essence you are what you think and if we have no self-control our lives will be out of control. I lack in this area so much and have made it my goal to be actively pursuing this. I downloaded the PDF available on Nancy’s site Revive our Hearts and placed it in my prayer notebook so I can pray over one of the 49 items each day. I would encourage you to print it and just place it somewhere you can read over it and take time to consider what areas you need to grow. I want to be a woman who is pursuing self-control every day. An adorned woman There is so much packed into this amazing book that I encourage each of you to grab a copy on Revive our hearts, Amazon, or maybe you can find it at a second hand store like I did. There is also a small group Bible study guide available as well that would make a great topic for your next ladies Sunday School or private study. I promise that you will not be the same after reading this book. In case you haven't heard, this weekend is National Day of Unplugging, a day created to challenge people to walk away from their devices for 24 hours. While it sounds easier, there are many who struggle going just one hour without their iPad, phone, or other electronic devices. We are definitely connected to our devices and that is not a healthy thing. I read this quote from Elisabeth Elliot and chose to included it in the Spring 2022 magazine. Mrs. Elliot said:
The devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noise, hurry, crowds. He will not allow quietness. Let those words settle in your mind. Satan is not our friend, everything he does is meant to keep us from doing what is right and good. He has had a long time to study man and discover the things that will prevent us from deepening our relationship with God. A large part of that is noise, hurry, and crowds. Why? Because all of those things prevent us from being still and knowing God. Remember what I said before. We can only know God in the stillness, there is no other way. We Run from the Silence Sadly instead of embracing the moments of silence we run from them. Think about it. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Reach for your phone to check for messages and browse social media? Do you turn on the radio or listen to a podcast when you get in the car? When you come home do you turn on the TV or call a friend? Of course there is nothing wrong with any of this, but if we do this to block out the silence all the time it might be. Why do we work so hard to avoid the silence, what drives us toward the noise and away from the quiet? I believe it is because we fear it. Silence forces us to listen, to face our true selves and we dread that confrontation. Perhaps this is why God tells us in Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God”. Real change cannot happen until we learn to linger in the silence because it is in the quiet place that we truly become who we are meant to be. Why? Because it is where we meet with God and He has the opportunity to speak His truth, His purpose, and His reflection into our hearts and minds. This principle is vital for us to grasp because it comes from the One who created us, the One who knows what we need to do in order to deepen our relationship with Him. The first step in knowing Him is to dwell in the quiet place, free from distractions so that our heart can be ready to learn about Him. Free from Distractions Satan also knows the secret of the quiet place which is why he works so hard to distract us. There is nothing he loves more than a distracted Christian. Remember the three things? Noise. Hurry. Crowds. Noise is everywhere, you almost can’t escape it. Music blaring in grocery stores, dings from text messages, and even videos running when you pump gas. We are bombarded everyday with noise and it can keep us from the quiet place. Crowds are another distraction, lots of people gathered together in one place often means you can barely hear yourself talk let alone think. While hurry is not necessarily something you would include on a noisy list, it is one that goes on the distraction list. When our day is too full we will miss out on the quiet place as well. We spend our time rushing from one event or errand to the next never realizing that we forgot to spend time with the Lord. These three things that Satan likes to monopolize can be overcome with the same tool, intentionality. To escape the noise you must be intentional about turning it off. To leave the hurry behind you must be intentional about hitting the pause button. To avoid the crowds you must be intentional about walking away when necessary. Jesus gives us this example, on many occasions He walked away from the crowds so He could be alone with His Father. It is not wrong to step away from people for a time, in fact, you could say it is necessary to refill our tank, our spirit by spending time with God. To enter the quiet place, we must be intentional, it is up to us to carve out that daily time to be still so that we can begin to know our God. To know someone means you spend time with them and God Himself invites us to know Him. How amazing is this. We have the privilege to come into His very presence, that is what happens when we sit still. Our God longs for us to know Him, but He will never demand or shout to get our attention. He speaks in a still small voice which is easily lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Preparing for the quiet place. So how can we prepare ourselves to be in the quiet place? First is intentionality, second is to remove the distractions such as your phone, music, and television. I know that it is hard to resist checking your phone when you see it light up from a text or email notification so consider placing your phone somewhere else. Music and television can easily distract us as well which is why they need to be turned off or choose a location that is quiet. Personally, I enjoy sitting in my favorite, comfortable chair in my room with my tall floor lamp beside me. It is a quiet environment that allows me to stay focused on what I am studying. Creating a place where you can go and spend that time with the Lord is important so I encourage you to find a corner of your own. It can even be outside, sometimes being surrounded by God’s creation is the perfect setting for your time with Him. A Final Ingredient I believe there is one more ingredient for being in the quiet place and that is reception, and I am not talking about the phone, but our heart. God tells us to be still so we can know Him. We cannot know Him until we are receptive, a willingness to change. Change can only happen when we allow it, when we let truth penetrate our heart and mind, then we will begin to alter our behavior and our thinking habits. This is another reason Satan wants to keep us from the quiet place because he knows its power. He will do all that is necessary to hinder our ability to be still, even if he has to portray it as a place of dread. But it is the exact opposite, it is the place where our soul finds the rest it is seeking because we meet God there. I will warn you, you need to be prepared to face some resistance. Satan will do what he can to disturb our ability to have those quiet moments. For instance, as I was trying to prepare for this, my cat, which is usually well-behaved, decided it was the perfect time to run around, and make a lot of noise plus a neighbor's dog chose to howl and there were a lot more vehicles driving through my relatively quiet neighborhood. All of this noise was quite this distraction for me as I was trying to collect my thoughts about being still! As they say, the struggle is real, but I will add that the reward is great when we choose to persevere. Take a step away from your devices For those who are curious about National Day of Unplugging or wondering why I even mentioned it. I believe that our technology has become a big stumbling block in our ability to sit still. We are often more connected to it than to those around us and especially God. I have heard it said that if we treated our Bibles like we do our phones we would see more growth in ourselves. That is a true statement. Can I encourage you to consider taking this 24-hour challenge? If you find yourself struggling to put your phone down for 24 hours you might want to reexamine your attachment to it. God made us to connect with real people and with Himself, not to a bunch of screens. Take that break and choose to spend it differently. Here are some wonderful ideas:
Remember, dwelling in the quiet place is essential and requires us to be intentional, remove the distractions, and be receptive to what the Lord wants to teach us. Lean into the stillness, don’t be afraid of it, and I promise when you do it will bless and refresh your soul in ways you never knew where possible. Let's talk about two women who had a common connection though they would never meet. I am referring to Samson, his wife and Delilah. We have already discussed his unique birth announcement to his parents and their desire to do what is right but sadly it seems that Samson grew up spoiled in many ways. His parents had not taught him respect for authority as is evident in how he addresses his parents in Judges 14:1-2.
And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife. Samson decided he wanted to get married to this particular girl. Usually it was the parents who had the biggest say in their child’s spouse but for Samson he took complete control. He seemingly demanded his parents do this for him, this is the language of a spoiled child. They are giving orders to parents instead of seeking their counsel and discussing the matter with them in a respectful manner. Samson is aware of what he is asking, he looks outside of not just his own tribe but his country something that was not allowed. His parents raise the same concerns in verse 3 Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well. A matter of respect They are shocked that he has chosen a bride on his own, from outside their people, and know that it will not go down well with the neighbors. Again Samson displays his spoiled, disrespectful attitude when he said, Get for me; for she pleaseth me well. That is very strong language, something that should not come out during a parent/child conversation. This is a challenge to us on how we speak to our own parents. They are our God given authority during our childhood but when we become adults it doesn’t mean we can speak to them however we like. They will always be our parents and should be given respect even if we disagree with them. God places great emphasis on this. Not only is it one of the ten commandments given to Israel, it is the only one with a promise which we can read in Exodus 20:12: Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. And Paul reminds us again in Ephesians 6:2-3 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. God promises a longer life to those who honor their parents, who give them the respect their position is due. This, of course, does not mean you have to do things that go against God’s principles when you parents ask but you can disagree respectfully. You should, however, be willing to hear your parents out, to hear their side of the matter, and to be ready to admit when you are wrong. Samson refused to heed their words and disregarded their concerns. Could it be that this was one of the reasons his life was cut short? Perhaps. When we have no respect for the authority or position of our parents we will struggle to have respect in other areas including God and in the workplace. Samson’s actions reveal that he did not care for what God had to say about this matter either. He openly sinned against the Lord but as if often the case, God still uses bad things to accomplish good. We read in verse 4 But his father and his mother knew not that it was of the Lord, that he sought an occasion against the Philistines: for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel. God would allow Samson to have a victory over the Philistines but it should be mentioned that Samson did suffer for his rebellion and eventually reap the full bounty of his disobedience. Remember, we are free to make our own choices, God does not force anyone to obey Him but He does decide the consequences of our actions. This is a good thought to keep in the forefront of our mind when tempted to think that we can do as we please since others have gotten away with it, but so often we don’t see the rest of the story or even forget that God will judge us one day for all our actions both good and bad. No sin goes unpunished as the life of Samson will reveal. A crying bride No matter the wrong, his parents make the arrangements as their son demanded and the engagement party commences. Samson decides to have some fun and puts forth a riddle for the men to answer giving them a week to do it. After spending time thinking about it and coming up short, they, out of desperation to win, threaten Samson's bride. And it came to pass on the seventh day, that they said unto Samson's wife, Entice thy husband, that he may declare unto us the riddle, lest we burn thee and thy father's house with fire: have ye called us to take that we have? is it not so? Judges 14:15 Women often were placed in such a position, they had little to no rights and men felt they could manipulate them to get what they wanted. The tactic seemed to work in this case. Of course the fact that these men really did mean what they said was no doubt enough to scare her severely. It is interesting that they encouraged her to entice her husband, as much as the men felt they had authority over a woman, they subtly were admitting that a she could bring a man down, especially one like Samson who had a weakness for women, with her words. In verses 16 and 17 And Samson's wife wept before him, and said, Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not: thou hast put forth a riddle unto the children of my people, and hast not told it me. And he said unto her, Behold, I have not told it my father nor my mother, and shall I tell it thee? And she wept before him the seven days, while their feast lasted: and it came to pass on the seventh day, that he told her, because she lay sore upon him: and she told the riddle to the children of her people. Judges 14:16-17 It is almost uncanny how she used the same tactics Delilah would on Samson later. The young bride cries and makes accusations to her husband that he must hate her because if he really loved her he would have told her the answer to the riddle. Samson gets defensive and tells her that he hasn’t even told his own parents the answer so why should he tell her. The tension can almost be felt in these verses. A word of caution when it comes to using the words, "always" and "never". It is easy to throw these words around in the heat of the moment but how true are they really? A once said pastor that these words should be rarely spoken, if ever, in a conversation. How often have we found ourselves saying, "You never listen or you always ignore me", in our hearts we know that is not true and we need to guard against it. Another point is the fact that Samson is completely unaware of the pressure his wife is under since her and her family's lives have been threatened. This is the root of the problem and the cause of her desperation to know the answer to the riddle. What would have happened if she had simply opened up to him, after all, he was the strongest man in the world and able to protect her from anything. Sadly, so much is lost by lack of communication between couples, friends, and families. When we take the time to talk about things, especially things that are bothering us, solutions can be given and conflict avoided. For Samson's wife, she chooses, instead, to manipulate him by crying. This is a little humorous, here is a spoiled man who demanded his parents get him this woman for his wife only to marry her and have her make demands of him. In fact, she cried for seven days to get her way and it worked, she wore him down until he finally gave her the answer. Ruled by emotions Unfortunately the story continues down the road of decline, there is no happily ever after in store for either of them. It's obvious to Samson how the men got the answer to his riddle which made him very mad. After fulfilling the wager he storms off, leaving his wife behind and goes to his father’s house….just like a spoiled child would do. His actions made the father-in-law rethink the marriage, assuming that Samson no longer wanted his daughter. He makes the decision to give his wife to Samson's companion which was a big mistake. At this point in the story your heart goes out to this woman in some ways, she was simply tossed about from here to there. Threatened by a mob of angry men, her husband angry with her and now her father decides she should be married to another man. What transpires next is even harder to read. Samson, after cooling down, goes to visit his wife. But it came to pass within a while after, in the time of wheat harvest, that Samson visited his wife with a kid; and he said, I will go in to my wife into the chamber. But her father would not suffer him to go in. Judges 15:1 To be honest, his thought process is stunning. He thinks he can make a big scene, throw a tantrum, stay away for a while, and come back to find everything as he left it. That is quiet the arrogant assumption. The fact that he decides a baby goat is an acceptable gift is also a little funny, not flowers or fabric, a baby goat. Can you picture it, "Hi honey, here’s a goat for you, can I get a kiss?" Regardless of the presentation, Samson gets the news that his bride was given away to someone else. In retribution, he seeks revenge. Samson let his emotions rule, in fact that is one way to sum up his entire life and serves as a warning to us. When we let our emotions determine our actions we are in for trouble. Anger, fear, hate, these all will cause us to make poor choices and react badly. Often they will lead to regret as well. We must rule our heart, our emotions, not the other way around. What Samson did was wrong and it was cruel since he burned down the Philistines fields using foxes tied together and set on fire. Samson acted on his own, not according to God’s command. Even though Samson is listed as a judge that does not mean he was always good, just like we saw in the life of Jonah who was a disobedient prophet. Samson’s life was mostly guided by his own selfish desires which would cost him and many others a high price. The Philistines were not happy with his actions and they took it out on the father and Samson’s wife by killing them with fire. It was so tragic and of course, Samson retaliates for that too. As you read these passages you almost feel like it is a feud, each side seeking revenge on the other with no end in sight. Again, this is another problem with letting your emotions take control of your life, there is no telling just how far it will go and how many will suffer because of it. Determine to keep your emotions in check, live your life under the influence of God’s word. We are to be a people who are self-controlled, it is a fruit of the Spirit, an evidence that Christ dwells within you and it applies to every area of our life. With the passing of his wife, another chapter begins in the life of Samson, one that would lead to his tragic end. And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. Judges 16:4 That one sentence, one decision would alter his life forever. The danger of sexual sin A pastor made an interesting point regarding the dangers of sexual sin and how our response to this sin is different than any other. He said that this is the only sin we are told not to withstand but to flee. We find the perfect example in the life of Joseph. When Potiphar’s wife grabbed him, to try and make him come with her, he left his coat behind and ran. Sexual sin, when it is allowed to rule you, will always lead to death and not just spiritual death but also physical. Proverbs tells us on numerous occasions that the ways of the strange women are the ways of death, her path leads to hell. Samson had a weakness and it was the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes. He was a man ruled by his emotions, as we have already discussed, and by his lust filled passions. These problems would lead to his destruction, as evidently the Philistines already figured out his weakness for women which is why they sought Delilah’s help. We don’t know much about Delilah’s background, only that she is a harlot and willing to do anything for money. Without any hesitation she immediately sets to work, manipulating Samson into giving her his secret. Samson sees it more as a game. He gives her false information three times in a row with her trying it each time. To most normal people this would give you cause to stop and realize that this woman has no good intentions but sadly Samson would yield after Delilah used the same tactics as his wife had earlier. She declared that he didn’t love her plus she nagged him daily until his soul was vexed unto death. In the end Samson was betrayed and captured by the Philistines. Someone made the comment once that the members of his body that he struggled to control the most, his eyes, were the one thing they took from him. Most of us know the fate of this once strong man, the one who had such a miraculous beginning, he would be made a laughing stock to the Philistines but would one more time bring destruction to them when he placed his hands between two pillars, asking God for strength one more time, and collapse the building killing himself in the process, a request he also asked for. Samson’s life truly teaches us what happens when we let our emotions and our passions rule our life instead of following after God. Persistence and focus Let’s drift back to Delilah for a moment because there are a couple of interesting traits she possessed that we can learn from. Persistence and focus. Three times Samson lied to her, three times she was made to look a fool in front of the men who hired her yet she continued on. Her desire to receive the promised reward was so great that she kept asking Samson to tell her what it was. This should cause us to stop and consider how focused are we on eternity? God tells us that there is a reward for those who follow Him, who seek Him, who obey His commands yet so often we lack the persistence needed to accomplish the tasks in front of us. How many times have we lost our focus on what really matters? Are we easily distracted or dissuaded from doing what is right? Paul says he presses toward the mark, he lays aside the weights and the sins that so easily beset us so he can run the race before him. If we want to say these words with Paul we have to run our race with persistence and stay focused on what is ahead of us. When we remember where we are going, it will be easier to say no to the bad and yes to the needful thing, our relationship with Jesus Christ. Be persistent in the race we call life and stay focused on the Lord. We do this best when we spend time in His word every day and learn to be still in His presence. |
New Product now available!
Categories
All
Sarah GraceI am just an ordinary girl who is loved by an extraordinary God and I seek to love others the same way. I love to bake, read, do puzzles, watch Hallmark movies, and go shopping with my mom! This blog was created as a place where I could share some thoughts that the Lord has shown me and to be an encouragement to others who desire to know Him in a deeper way. My prayer is to learn to sit still and trust God with my future. Archives
December 2023
|