Have you ever had a day where your hopes were high because of what was coming? You have built it up into something grand but then see it all crumble before you? That was me not to long ago. I graduated in May with a degree in Graphics Design and have since been looking for a job in that particular field, let me tell you it is not easy! Everything is online these days making it even more difficult to snag that much needed face-to-face interview. Finally I heard about a job fair that was being hosted nearby that promised "hundreds of jobs". Now let me ask you, when you read that headline, do you envision a job fair with a least 100 tables packed tightly into a huge gym? So did I. So I immediately printed off 15 resumes, attached my business card and had my large portfolio ready to go, I was as prepared as I could be for this opportunity. The day arrived, and I was excited. I left extra early so that I had time to find the place and be one of the first ones there. When I arrived at the address listed I thought it must be a mistake, this place was so small but I parked my car, still hopeful at the promised opportunities inside. That hope dwindled quickly when I walked in and discovered that the job fair with "hundreds of jobs" was in two small conference rooms with a max of 50 tables that mainly consisted of FedEx, Publix, Taco Bell and temp agencies. The one organization listed as attending, the only graphic agency that I wanted to speak with could not be found anywhere so I went to the person in charge of the fair and asked them where the booth would be. The person proceeded to lead me to "their" booth which was a security agency firm...a far cry from what I had asked them( I am still not sure why they were put in charge of the fair). I took several more laps around the room just to make sure I didn't miss them but with each lap my heart sank lower and lower. Finally I realized it was useless to look anymore, no one was hiring for a graphic designer so I might as well head out.
I can't even begin to describe the feelings I was experiencing. I had looked forward to this job fair for two weeks, I had taken time off from my current job, which was not easy to do since I juggle several schedules and taking off from one job meant I lost hours at another and it all felt like a huge waste of time. When I got to the car I quickly dumped my portfolio, and all those resumes into the backseat and began to make the one hour commute to my other job. As the minutes ticked by I could feel my heart sinking deeper and deeper and before long the tears began to flow. I tried to control them because I knew if I cried too hard I might end up in an accident and my day was already bad enough, I didn't need to add that to the pile.
I am going to be completely transparent, I felt so alone and utterly discouraged. After four years of working my way through school with the hopes of getting a better job, I still had nothing. Please understand that I love my current jobs, but I had hoped to have one good job not the three I currently did. At that moment it was difficult for me to remember that God loved me, I am being completely honest, I was at a low point. As many people do when they are feeling so low, they get themselves a dose of chocolate and I was no different at that moment. I pulled into the nearest Starbucks, planning on ordering a nice, grande peppermint mocha (my absolute favorite!). It wasn't until I pulled into the parking lot that I realized my teary eyes might not be the best look to wear in a public place. So I quickly looked in the visor mirror and wiped away the evidence, thinking no one would ever know (my mistake). I was greeted by a super sweet barista who took my order. As she rang me up she asked if the weather had gotten to me too, you see I forgot that when you cry your nose will begin to drip causing you to make that periodic sniffing sound which I was doing subconsciously. When she asked the question, this thought ran through my head, "well, I can't lie but did she have to ask!". I could feel the tears well up again and I quickly said as nicely as I could muster without falling apart, "No, it's just been one of those mornings". With a look of understanding she simply handed me my receipt and I went to wait for my chocolate antidote. As I stood there I watched her grab my cup and a black sharpie, I knew instantly what she was doing and that made me tear up even more. Soon my coffee was ready and as she handed it to me, with the written side facing me, she said, "My grammar isn't very good but I hope you have a good day." I could only manage a smile as I turned and rushed out the door. As I drove to work I cried even more.
Smiles make people better
It is so easy to forget that the sun is there even when the clouds roll in. The sky grows dark and the temperature lowers but the fact remains that behind those boisterous clouds, there is a sun. So it is with God's love, when discouragement begins to squeeze our soul, and the trials come in all their fury, we must make a choice to believe the promises of God. I know it is hard, believe me, on that day I could only see the clouds and feel the cold wind blow over my soul. Satan was doing his best to whisper lies into my heart, to tell me that God did not care about me, He didn't love me but that is all it was, a lie. The truth was, God never left me, He never abandoned me, His love was always there and He used a little Starbucks barista to remind me of that. I pray that when you feel overwhelmed by life that you will remember this story, just as I will, and let the truth of God's love push out Satan's lies, He truly does love you with an everlasting, constant love.
For those curious about what was on the cup, she wrote, "Hope you have a great day! Smiles always make people better." And you know what? It did! May we always make time to be kind to someone else, you never know the difference it could make in their life.
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I am just an ordinary girl who is loved by an extraordinary God and I seek to love others the same way. I love to bake, read, do puzzles, watch Hallmark movies, and go shopping with my mom! This blog was created as a place where I could share some thoughts that the Lord has shown me and to be an encouragement to others who desire to know Him in a deeper way. My prayer is to learn to sit still and trust God with my future.