I read this poem in a book once and got such a chuckle out of it....even though I am not that old!! I hope you will get a smile too and feel free to share with a friend! I'm Fine Thank you
There is nothing the matter with me I'm as healthy as can be. I have arthritis in both my knees And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze, My pulse is weak and my blood is thin, But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in. Arch supports I have for my feet, Or I wouldn't be able to go on the street. Sleep is denied me night after night, But every morning I find I'm all right, My memory is failing, my head's in a spin But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in. The moral is this - as my tale I unfold, That for you and me who are growing old, It's better to say, "I'm fine" with a grin, Than to let folks know the shape we're in. How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well my 'get up and go' has got up and went. But I don't really mind when I think with a grin, Of all the grand places 'my get up' has been. Old age is golden, I've heard it said, But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed, With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in the cup, My eyes on the table until I wake up. Ere sleep overtakes me, I think to myself Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf? When I was young, my slippers were red; I could kick my heels right over my head. When I got older, my slippers were blue; But still I could dance the whole night through. But now I am old, my slippers are black; I walk to the store and puff my way back. I get up each day and dust off my wits, And pick up the paper and read the 'obits'. If my name is still missing, I know I'm not dead - So I have a good breakfast and go back to bed. I found this in an old Christian Womanhood Magazine, dated July 2005. It was a story that brought a smile my way and I thought it might do the same to you! Did you ever have such a day? Somehow our house had become infested with mice, and I found myself waging war with some "pretty creatures."
I was setting traps daily but seemingly to no avail. I often found the bait gone and the wooden spring traps were left unsprung. Clever mice! I imagined them laughing profusely at my failure as they scurried away. I tried the harmless baited box traps next, but they held no appeal. Not to be outdone, I turned to the infamous glue traps. "Ah, ha," I said, rubbing my hands together like a mad scientist, "they won't get past the glue!" Determined to catch one particular varmint who was boldly making his run between my daughter Candace's room and the kitchen, I place a glue trap against the right wall and under her dresser, in the direct line of his path. I moved an unsprung but de-baited wooden trap to the left of the glue trap and prayed for swift results. I wasn't disappointed. It seemed I had barley left the room when I heard the wooden trap spring shut and a pitiful squealing sound begin. I had not anticipated the squealing. The sound was so pathetic that I became instantly miserable at having inflicted upon any creature such pain. Horrified by its cries, two of my six daughters who were home from school came running toward me, hands cupping their ears. "Mom! Mom! The mouse...it's caught! Do something, Mom. Make it stop!" "What am I suppose to do?" I shrieked, equally horrified. "I'm not putting my hand under that dresser!" "You've got to do something, Mom. Pleeeeasssseee!" About that time a knock sounded at the front door. Dennis, the fiance of my daughter Heather, had stopped by to drop off something fro me before he went to work. I was elated! I ran to the front door and threw it open. "Dennis! Dennis! Come quick," I exclaimed, "We have a terrible problem. I need your help." I motioned for him to follow me. It was not difficult for him to surmise the situation. My girls were standing in the hallway babbling unintelligible words while doing a jib, as though dancing about the corridor with their ears cupped would solve the problem. Meanwhile the mouse squealed incessantly. Dennis chuckled at our plight. All I could do was say, "Dennis, could you do something, please?" Quick to take action as masculine men are wont to do when being called upon to rescue damsels in distress, he stooped to look under the dresser and assess the situation. Then he chuckled again and breathed, "Cool." "Cool?" I thought. I was now perplexed. Reaching under the dresser, he carefully removed both traps. Caught in the glue trap was the mouse's tail. Evidently, as it had tried to free itself from the glue, it had inadvertently stepped onto the wooden trap, thereby springing it. The wooden trap had caught one of its tiny paws. Now caught in both traps, the mouse was squeaking for all it was worth. Dennis picked up both traps and carried them out our back door and set them on our concrete driveway while he went in search of something with which to end the mouse's agony. Unfortunately, both of us had forgotten that an inquisitive Shitzu was a temporary resident at our house. Fascinated by the unusual display of noise and wriggling, the dog ran to investigate the source. Dennis yelled, "No!" Before he could stop the pup Mocha, his was stuck fast to the glue. Terrified at his plight, the little dog went into a frenzy of barking, shaking his head, and racing about the yard. The squealing mouse also dangled helplessly from his chin. Dennis, trying not to laugh at the spectacle, took up the chase; and man, dog, and mouse made the most dreadful commotion ever heard. After Dennis had finally caught the pup, and the ordeal of dispatching the mouse and freeing the pup was finally over, he came to find me. He found me with my two girls huddled in a corner, grimacing at the thought of the agony I had crated. Dennis tapped me on the shoulder. I unplugged my ears and forced open one eye to look at him. "Mission accomplished," he reported. "That was the funniest thing I ever saw," he grinned. "Oh, poor mouse!" I replied, "Talk about having a bad day." I vowed I would never be so inhumane again. By JoBeth Hooker This was a cute story that I came across some time ago and I hope you get a smile and a laugh from it; just as I did! Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all those who bake for church events.
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptisit Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing and helping her son pack for Scout camp. When Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She thought, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake." This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church and in her new community of friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect. Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and buy the cake and bring it home. When Amanda arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. She grabbed her cell phone and called her mom. Alice was horrified - she was beside herself. Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, and ridiculed! All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and taling about her behind her back. The next day, Alice promised herself she would try no to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. Alice did not want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than oce had looked down her nose at Alice because she was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa but, having already RSVP'd, she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home. The meal was elegant, the company was definelty upper crust old South and to Alice's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert! Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake! She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself." Alice smiled and thought to herself, "God is good." |
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Sarah GraceI am just an ordinary girl who is loved by an extraordinary God and I seek to love others the same way. I love to bake, read, do puzzles, watch Hallmark movies, and go shopping with my mom! This blog was created as a place where I could share some thoughts that the Lord has shown me and to be an encouragement to others who desire to know Him in a deeper way. My prayer is to learn to sit still and trust God with my future. Archives
December 2023
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