 Christmas can be difficult without the people that we love. Knowing that they are with the Lord should give us comfort, but still our hearts cry out for one last hug or to hear their voice say " I love you" again. My papa was the first person close to me that I had lost. I had lost a cousin, but he had a lot of health issues so there is comfort in his passing. My papa however was sudden, although he was high in age, it was unexpected. I had just seen him earlier that day, he was full of energy working like I had never seen him work before. He didn't complain about any soreness and was cheerful, humming with praises to the Lord. My papa gave me several hugs that day, the bear kind that smoother you and if I knew they would have been the last I would have embraced them instead of fighting for air. I thank God everyday for the last day, what a blessing to get to say goodbye without knowing it. The shock of hearing of his passing that night combined with the screaming of my nanas' voice as I overheard the corner while on the phone with her ,as she was pleading for the Lord for him to be okay. I broke. I remember the pain like no other I have felt to this day. In tears, balled up I cried out to the Lord, no understanding why. "Lord give me comfort, I can't because my heart….I can't take this pain, Lord take my pain." This is the first time I had ever prayed to where I could feel my soul begging to the Lord. I prayed for myself to sleep that night.
I woke up later and I had a dream about Jesus praying at a well with the night sky and stars behind him. I didn't know what it meant, but somehow it gave me comfort. A few days later I went to my nana's and my heart broke for her and all of my family. My mom pulled me to the side and handed me my papa bible. She said " he wanted you to have this." The realness of his death opened up my new wound and I stepped outside to breathe, pray. I knew my papa loved the Lord. I also knew it was very precious to him, he took it everywhere and was always writing notes in it. I knew the Lord was real. I knew what His power was capable of through the transformation of my father; but I had known him personally. The funeral was a sermon in itself just honoring the Lord and all He had done for my papa throughout his life. At the grave I placed a quarter in the casket that he gave me so I would never be broke, he used to say we could call him with it, like payphones are still a thing. I was able to start to cope. I remember taking a deep breath afterwards and looking around and I noticed a well, my papas grave site is right beside a well in the graveyard. In that moment I felt the Lord's presence of peace wash over me .Several things would still remind me of him, like pink skies or church songs, but I had a layer around my heart not allowing the pain to sting as bad as it first did.The first church service I went to after his passing was so hard. I was alone, but everything reminded me of him. The preaching sermon, to the songs. In the moment I prayed to the Lord that he would give me a heart like my papa had for the Lord, that I can know him like he did, and that he would never leave me because what I was doing wasn't working for me. The next day I decided to open my papas' Bible, not to read the words in it, but to read his handwriting. I started and couldn't stop, something inside of me awoke and earned for the Lord. This lasted for weeks and I was consumed with scripture and learning who my Lord is, why He is so good. In those months a distant God of the universe who helped others and I knew out of tradition that I was to worship became my Father who is as close to me as the hairs on my skin. My life was transformed. The death of my papa brought life to my spirit and I could never express the gratitude I have for that. As I whip away the tears, I am reminded that not everyone has this blessed assurance that they know the Lord and I hope as you read this, He will draw you close to Him even now. Just cry out to Him and He will answer. By the time Christmas came along I was walking closer with the Lord than I ever had before. I was able to try to help others in my family learn to cope with Jesus than to let the pain engulf their life, some harder than others. God gave me this poem and I wanted to share it in memory of a Godly man who lived for the Lord. Everything I write and do stems in honor of His love for the Lord. I pray it can give you comfort and bless you in this sometimes sad holiday. Look up, God is with you always. Christmas without you The light is so bright The warmth last throughout the night The peace is so free, no stress No hurrying to look my best No worrying if the gift is just right No working overtime to pay for the night A party happens today like everyday In heaven with Jesus on his Birthday Today I hug Jesus and walk by his side Talking about things wondered world wide We talk about love and the blessing he gave I'm so lucky I was able in my life to be saved Today i'm not there but do not shed a tear I'm with our lord free from all fear The memory of me hurts because i'm not in my seat Just know im happy worshiping at Jesus feet Be happy for me wipe away your tear One day you will join me so look up my dear Be happy and celebrate our savior today We worship him together even though we are miles away You can not see me but know i'm in your heart God will comfort you, he will never depart This Christmas you are not without me Love remains in your heart so share it for others see Merry christmas from heaven and happy new year too Enjoy this day, the family still needs you Inspired by Grady Turner 12/20/24 @ 11:58am Written by Hannah Austin
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 A Special Surprise
It was a hot summer day, the bugs were ready to attack and my grass was as tall as my three year old. My husband was at work, providing for our family, so I thought I would help my husband by cutting the grass. Granted we have a riding lawn mower, and I am kind of an outdoors kind of girl. I started the lawnmower, checked to see if it had oil and pumped the tires. I began in the front yard and was having a great time, then it happened. The lawnmower started to make a pump noise and felt uneven… you guessed it, I had a flat tire! I pumped and it ran flat five times until I decided I had to find a new tactic. I pushed the lawnmower across the yard again ( cut off because of the safety switch) and by this time I was exhausted. My neighbor, whom I had never spoken to, was out in the yard and I am sweaty and desperate. Willing to ask for help I go to my neighbors yard and out of breath, try to explain how I know nothing about lawnmowers but am trying to surprise my husband by cutting the grass. Now my neighbor, who is an older man in his late seventies, laughs at me and tells his teenage grandson to go fetch the lawnmower and bring it to his yard. He then tells me to go inside and cool off. I am still unsure to trust him, as I was raised to never go into a stranger's house, so I told him I had a child at the house so I couldn't stay too long. By this time his wife came out. She invited me to come inside for something to drink, this time I smiled and said thank you for the offer, but I have a child at home waiting for me. She asked me if I liked tea, then went inside. She came out a few moments later holding a cold glass of tea and a piece of homemade walnut cake. I took it, because it was cake, and stood in the yard while they worked on the lawnmower. Gaining an extended family About fifteen minutes later, with a new tire on the lawnmower, my girl came running down the driveway wondering where I went. After helping them across the street, I introduced my children to my neighbors. My little girl misheard my neighbor and said your name is Papa? I laughed and said NO, and corrected her. He quickly interrupted me and said " you let that baby call me papa, I'll be that girl's papa." I laughed again and just like that we adopted two strangers into our lives. Fast forward to three years later, many borrowed items and cooking lessons later, we are as close as ever. My neighbors are like another set of grandparents to our girls and they adore them. My girls are just as crazy about "Kat Kat" and “Papa” as well. My youngest goes to their house almost everyday to play. Having such tremendous help across the street is a life saver, between last minute schedule changes to childcare they have always been there for me. Stepping outside my comfort zone I had to step out of my comfort zone to ask for help, but the reward from it has been life changing. I never would have thought that an act of kindness from strangers would have impacted mine and my entire family's life like they have. I am so blessed that God uses ordinary people for extraordinary tasks. Next time someone comes and asks for your help, be sure to act like my neighbors. Who knows, maybe just like us a beautiful family bond could be created.  When showing our weakness to others points them to Christ, it makes it worth the embarrassment. Last week I was running late. This isn't a typical morning but the type of morning where the kids won't listen, you're missing one shoe and someone forgot to brush their hair. That morning I forgot my lid for my coffee, so I spilled it in the car trying to be a Nascar driver on the way to church. Though there are many ays when everything seems to fall apart, Sundays seem harder to get ready for than any other day of the week. When I pulled into the parking lot, I finished buckling and gave the speech about how we are to smile and be friendly when others approach us. Fake it til' you make it, right? When we show our weaknesses of not having our lives all together and allow people into our bubble or chaos, that's when God can use our mess for His message.
Still Striving to be like God No one is perfect. I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's the truth. Romans 3:23 says clearly "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". We all have to make a choice everyday to spend time with the LORD. This time that we set apart to read our Bible and pray, is how we strengthen our relationship with our Creator. It is our opportunity to allow God to speak to us, and accept His invitation for a deeper understanding of who He is; we are also able to adjust our lives to His will. It is one thing to spend time with God on Sundays but we should be spending time with Him everyday. Most people I know spend this " Quiet Time" in the mornings to start their day, but as long as we choose to set time apart, that is what allows change to take place in our hearts and lives. Let the Holy Spirit lead you, guide you and teach you, filling your spirit up for the rest of the day. After this time that we devote to the Lord is spent, we are better able to see when we make mistakes, and repent. God uses our mistakes for His glory When we do make a mistake and repent, God teaches us through the experience to draw us closer to Him. To repent is to turn away from, to change. I have heard that when we turn away from something we must then turn toward something else, that being Christ. This doesn't mean that we say we are sorry but continue to make the same mistakes over and over. When true repentance takes place, God renews our relationship with Him. When we change to be more like Christ, we allow Him to be able to use us for His glory. Lamentations 3:22-23, states, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness". Even when we are unfaithful, how incredible it is to know that God is always faithful to us. This should inspire us to pursue Him and make Him our priority. This does require discipline, to choose to put God first everyday. When our motivation is love then the discipline becomes a desire. Desire to glorify God by loving Him and choosing to daily repent and strive to walk closer with Him. He gets the Glory When we repent and change our lives according to His will, by our actions, we give God the glory. We trust in Him to accept our change of action by faith, to become renewed. He does the work for us, and our change gives Him glory. We are never able to change ourselves or anyone around us. He does the work for us by our faith to change our perspective of the choices we make. An act of worship is choosing to adjust our lives to His will. We can do this by meaning what we say, by living out our lives as God intended, by desiring Him daily. We must accept that we are not in control. By daily repenting and continuously striving to walk closer and closer to God, our actions of our renewed character will point people to Christ. Matthew 5:16 says "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven". When we point to Christ in all that we do and say, He receives the glory. Willing to be vulnerable When we are vulnerable in front of others it allows hearts to be softened and points them to Christ. This vulnerability allows people around us to realize that just because we are saved doesn't mean that we have everything figured out, or put together perfectly. To show our mess opens others' hearts to realize that they are not alone. We all need help. God does work for us all. Next time you are running late and everything is falling apart, choose to embrace the mess. Let's all strive to show our weakness, to encourage one another in the midst of chaos. Instead of faking it, let's make a choice to be vulnerable so our weakness can encourage those around us. Imagine that we have it all together all the time, then what work does God need to do for us? How will we tell others how God changed us if we never expressed how far we have come through His strength? by Hannah Austin |
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